A Few Jokes from Larry the Cable Guy, Gettin’ ‘Er Done for the NRA


Just as things were getting serious at the NRA’s Celebration of American Values Freedom Experience, Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre turned over the Show to Daniel Lawrence Whitney — aka Larry the Cable Guy.

Larry has a way of illustrating his thoughts and experiences in a way few comics today can manage. Most, if not all, were right on target for the audience.

“You ever notice they offer a McRib two months out of the year at McDonalds? I figured it out why that is. It takes 10 months to hunt down and shoot whatever kind of meat goes into the McRib.”

“You all do that twitter? I do the country version — Conway Twitter. Every tweet starts with ‘Hello Darlin’ — thank you so much that is by far the dumbest joke I’ve written in my entire life.”

“I got a nephew who’s staying with us while his house is being worked on by the auto mechanic. To thank us, he gathered the family and told us that he was going to take us someplace special. Someplace where you have to be a member. I thought holy mackerel, we get all dressed up and he’s taking us to Costco.”

“He’s a very funny man,” said NRA Board Member Bill Allen. “He had me and the people around us laughing almost the entire night.”

Taking the comedian slot for American Values can be a precarious decision. After fellow Blue Collar Comedy Tour partner Jeff Foxworthy’s performance last year in Pittsburgh, the bar was set fairly high. But Larry, in all his glory, had the crowd in the palm of his hands and as the night wound down … he had them on their feet in gratitude for a job well done.

“I don’t like golf. I paid three hundred dollars one time to play golf — and that was just to pay for the paramedic getting my foot out of the windmill.”

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