Senator Bernie Sanders announced on Friday that he will be suspending his presidential campaign temporarily to take advantage of an early morel mushroom season. Thanks to a mild winter in many states, morel hunters are already heading to the woods in search of these much coveted fungi. Sanders, who has long been an avid mushroom picker and occasionally travels to hot spots such as the Great Lakes region, will be among them.

“I heard that this year’s crop of morels is going to be huge. Huge!” Sanders told supporters on Monday. “Starting Friday my campaign will be taking a temporary hiatus so my staffers can assist me with my morel hunting.”

Sanders also made several disparaging statements regarding big business and the existence of super PACs. He also mentioned his rival for the Democratic nomination, Hillary Clinton.

“Hillary’s too busy playing with her guns,” he said, referring to the recent reversal from Clinton on gun rights.

Previously a staunch supporter of gun control, Clinton shocked supporters at a private fundraiser when she announced that she is actually in favor of many pro-gun laws and bills. Political observers also expressed shock at Sander’s announcement, especially as the Vermont senator brought in a record $44 million in fundraising last month.

Sanders, already decked out in his hightop boots, mesh bag, and with a mushroom knife at his side on Friday, said he was not worried.

“There are no worries during morel season,” he said as he sprayed himself with bug repellent.

Editor’s note: Happy April Fools’.

 

Original image from Gage Skidmore on the flickr Creative Commons

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5 thoughts on “Bernie Sanders Suspends Campaign for Morel Season

  1. Yeah. Get rid of your guns and go pick mushrooms with Bernie. Better make sure everyone gets some Bernie! Staffers to pick them for you? Lazy Fat Cat! Who gives a rats a$$! Lying Hillary too!

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