When you’re miles away from civilization and your only method of transportation is a kayak, you’d probably be pretty hysterical if a bear decided to come along and break it. This video was uploaded to YouTube earlier this week by Mary Maley, who recorded the footage during a solo kayak trip in Alaska from Ketichikan to Petersburg. While drying her stuff near a cabin in Berg Bay, Maley came across an inquisitive bear.

“I had just carried my tent, food, and all my gear into the cabin to dry while I went on a 4 mile hike that begins just behind the cabin,” she wrote. “I heard something outside as I ate my lunch, and well, I never got to go on that hike.”

Maley used a can of bear spray on the critter, but all that seemed to do was bring it back to munching on the kayak.

“Bear! Please stop breaking my things!” Maley cried in the video. “It’s not even food, it doesn’t even taste good! It’s just plastic. Bear, please stop!”

Her pleading made have made her the blunt of jokes on the internet—and made her video go viral—but we can totally understand her panic. Maley said by the time the bear left, the kayak was too damaged to be used and she had to swim out to a sailboat in the bay. A few helpful boaters eventually gave her a lift back to Wrengell, where she is repairing the kayak.

What would you have done in this scenario?

Image screenshot of video by Mary Maley on YouTube

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11 thoughts on “Video: Hysterical Woman Pleads with Bear to Not Eat Her Kayak

  1. Well, the yelling didn’t work. So stop the yelling. Maybe throwing a rock or two would have done something – but it looks as though she was too busy FILMING it to pick up a rock…

  2. What an irritating whiny voice! Bear! Bear! Bear! Holy shut the fuck up, woman! Woman up and deal with the problem – oh wait, she did.

  3. Seams as if he did the damage as revenge for the initial spraying. Maybe a few more shots of that bear spray may have made him leave.

  4. Typical tree-hugger- not a clue and no gun. You have pepper spray get in his face and spray him if you want to save your kayak!

    1. Do you know anything about bears or guns? If a gun doesn’t reliably stop a fucking scrawny saggy shorts human in his tracks, what makes you think the kind of gun she would have on her person would guarantee her safety? There are a ton of stories for you to read about bears charging AFTER being shot.
      She didn’t need a rifle. She was safer with the spray. And certainly safer keeping her distance. It was a funny video. Bears are bad ass and should continue to be. No need to shoot a curious animal and get yourself mauled if you fail to hit a vital spot or the round lacks stopping power. Lighten up and laugh at the ridiculousness of it.
      I’m a second ammendment supporter to my very core. You are just an idiot.

  5. Jesus, she IS irritating! Hunting season not open? Probably not, but nevertheless I always packed a gun with my gear, usually a .22, which I can tell you from experience works perfectly on head shots. That would have been an ex-bear had it been me. Probably illegal, but under those circumstances, my safety will trump illegal every time. But I suppose this harpy would never consider such a terrible thing.

    1. Or didn’t want to lug around a rifle that could very well miss in the moment. She clearly kept herself safe from a curious bear. Why the fuck would you shoot a bear in a situation like this when spray is just as/more effective and doesn’t involve you needlessly killing an awesome animal? Hunt all you can eat friend but don’t be an asshole. You’ve killed bears before then? Good for you. She’s not necessarily an experienced hunter, and was visibly shaking from the adrenaline of the moment. Spray seems like the optimal method of protection for this girl and there’s nothing wrong with that.
      Y’all are a bunch of critical cowards in my book. Bear investigating your presence? Better shit your pants and kill the SOB in his backyard before much of a threat presents itself! You ask me, letting the animal persist just takes bigger balls than you have. But hell, maybe I’m wrong.

  6. Personally found the video hilarious and I am not at all offended (why in God’s name would I be?) that the curious and bad ass bear surbived to tell the tale. I might have pushed the bear away with a few more sprays but hey, live and learn.

  7. Byron: You are of course entitled to your uninformed opinion, but if you ever find yourself deep in subarctic wilderness, with a bear who probably has never seen a humanoid before, has no fear of you, and is about to tear into your fragile tent and eat your irreplaceable food supply, are might change that opinion quite quickly. I had this happen long before the days of Bear spray in the 1950’s. No, Black bears are almost never “bad ass”, are usually among the most timid of animals and I dare to say I have seen many, many more of them then you ever have. So, you might reconsider before you start tossing around words like coward and idiot. The bear was killed with a head shot at about 8 yards, never moved a muscle, and I was able to continue my month long canoe trip without a ruined tent in a bug infested wilderness and have enough to eat. Yes Byron, you ARE wrong. I have spent much of my life in uninhabited country, some of it around a few truly dangerous animals, have never shot anything accept to eat it , and have never killed anything else that I did not feel compelled to, so why don’t you come down off your holier- than- thou diatribes and give us all a break. Yes, and I dare say that I can out shoot you any day. (chuckle)

  8. After getting half-sprayed by this idiot, I would have trashed on her kayak too. She definitely had some food in that kayak or perhaps she was on her period and sat in the kayak seat and the bear smelled it. (I’m not joking on that last comment either!)

  9. omg , can I put an ice pick in my eye so the whiny voice would stop.
    Throw a rock or stick at the bear for petes sake.

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