KA-BAR “Zomstro” Chopper

I’ll admit that when I first unsheathed KA-BAR’s latest addition to their famed zombie killer line, I had my doubts. I am as a big a fan of shooting zombie targets as everyone else, but I don’t exactly keep a stockpile of zombie de-limbing gear around the home like I have prepared for other contingencies, such as the inevitable bacon shortage.

My first thought when I opened the very well packaged KA-BAR box is “look at all the stuff in here!” I fell instantly in love with the sheath with its outlandishly toxic green cord. It’s like a survival jacket for your leg and I found the compartments very useful.

Then I pulled out the “Zomstro” cleaver/machete/apocalypse chopper. The first thing I noticed was its strange shape with the snaketail point. The second thing I noticed was that the cutting edge was not in line with the handle, but rather balanced to be front heavy. Despite my prejudices towards cleaver-shaped knives, I went into the testing phase with optimism. This is after all, KA-BAR, and they make one of my all-time favorite knives.

Blade

Straight out of the box it was a bit dull. That was to be expected, in my experience heavier blades tend to be shipped dull. After unboxing the chopper, my colleagues here at OutdoorHub used it to wage war against the local office plants. There were minimal casualties. So I took it home, brought out some sharpening stones, and waited patiently to see what I had.

I thought about filming the process of sharpening the Zomstro–perhaps paired with a 80s soundtrack and a camo headband–but the process only took a few licks and a little bit of a touch-up. Sharpening this chopper did not turn into one of those sweaty, work-through-the-night affairs.

It’s now sharp enough to make sculptures of toilet paper. Now I’m not saying that because slicing toilet paper is a practical purpose for knives, but those of us who use it as a litmus test will know how hard it is to get a good clean cut on cheap two-ply. Large knives such as the Zomstro are also noticeably harder to get to a razor edge, and perhaps a little unwise as they‘re meant for rough work. Still, I was very impressed.

The material is 1096 cro-van, which is good quality and easy to sharpen. The steel is fairly common in KA-BAR knives and a superb choice for the Zomstro.

Now, regarding the shape of the blade. I personally believe that any blade that lacks a pointed tip has effectively halved its functional uses. And while I’m sure a number of experts are disagreeing with me right now, I will point out that it is possible to use the Zomstro as a pointed blade because of its elongated shape, although you’d have a hard time trying to stab anything. I managed to stick the blade in the ground, but it, for all intents and purposes, is a cleaver.

The weight distribution behind the blade is, however, fantastic. Even a relaxed cut will bite deep and clean, which is a testament to the Zomstro’s design as a zombie limb pruner.

Also, for those who like to baton, this is your knife.

Sheath

Like I said previously, I squeed like an infatuated school girl when I saw what the chopper came wrapped in. This mound of Cordura is like the minivan of sheaths: affordable, efficient, and capable of stowing five kids and the family dog. It’s big. In this case, size is a good thing. I’m going to make a wild assumption that if you’re going to be carrying the Zomstro, a 15-inch cleaver, you’re not going to care about dubious things like concealability.

The Zomstro sheath is intimidating and can probably bench more than you can. There are separate compartments for the Zomstro, a second bonus knife I’ll get to later, and space for cording or whatever else you want to put in there. For the sake of audacity, I used it to stow another fixed blade. The entire package is pretty rugged, but can also–depending on what you carry–be pretty heavy. I tossed the other fixed blade back into storage and the sheath returned to a normal, manageable weight. I found the two straps securing the Zomstro to be a tad redundant, and are in the path of the cutting blade when deploying the chopper. Still, the straps’ velcro backing make that a minor nuisance at best and the sheath also sports considerate MOLLE attachments on the back.

I’m not a big fan of Cordura, but I recognize that for large blades such as the Zomstro, it’s often the best choice. I managed to track dirt all over this one and just ran it through a garden hose. Good as new.

Handle

The Zomstro is a full-tang hunk of steel that comes with two colors of interchangeable handles. The handles are glass-filled nylon and fairly comfortable, although prolonged use will still make your hand feel like it’s been massaged in a walrus’s mouth. That said, I found it very grippy and surprisingly intuitive with a number of ways to hold the chopper. I’ve gotten in a discussion with one of my colleagues in which he bemoaned the lack of a pointed glassbreaker. First, it is still possible to break glass using the chopper’s pommel. Second, it’s a thick, heavy blade that can threaten thinner sheets of solid steel, so a good few whacks from the back of the blade should break most glass panes.

Practicality

It’s a chopper. It excels exceedingly at chopping things. In a pinch it can also be used as a somewhat short and heavy machete, which can probably cut through things machetes aren’t designed to handle. Like trees.

I found that the area near the base of the blade is better for continuous chops, as the head of the Zomstro actually cuts too deep for sustained hacking. For my last test I shelled out for a length of pork, and lacking a broadsword or zombies, gave the meat a few slices with the chopper. Well, by slices I mean clefts through flesh, sinew, and bone that instantly reduced my $30 purchase to a very unhygienic mess on the grass. Congratulations KA-BAR, I now have my go-to weapon in the case of a zombie apocalypse, after my traditional defenses of a trusty 12 gauge and common sense.

Conclusion

The package, which retails for $172 from KA-BAR, also comes with a skeleton “Acheron” knife. It’s a small and fairly sharp blade that comes with its own integrated holder on the larger Zomstro sheath. It’s a great little touch that makes makes customers feel appreciated. Unlike the USA-made Zomstro however, this bonus knife comes from China.

While the Zomstro’s price is a bit steep for a cleaver, I personally think it’s a bargain for what you get in return. I’m not basing this on KA-BAR’s previous reputation or the calculated costs of the materials and craftsmanship, but simply whether I would buy another one at the same price.

Also, the fact that I didn’t have to sharpen the chopper again after putting it through wood, tin, foliage and what had been previously my dinner is very impressive. I very rarely give perfect review scores, but I just can’t think of any areas where the Zomstro needs to be improved. Here’s one more item for the zombie shed.

Specifications as listed on KA-BAR’s website:

• Weight: 1.6 pounds
• Blade type: Fixed blade
• Measurements: Blade length 10-1/4”, overall length 15-1/2”
• Edge angles: 20 degrees
• Shape: Cleaver
• Stamp: KA-BAR ZK
• Pocket clip: N
• NSN: N/A
• Steel: 1095 Cro-Van
• Lock style: N/A
• Grind: Taper
• Handle material: GFN-PA66
• HRC: 56-58
• Butt cap/guard: N/A
• Blade thickness: 0.250

Daniel Xu

I'm the knife nut that everybody is ashamed to know. My love of sharp things extends to all kinds of edged weapons, be they small, large or on a stick.