Bucket List Fishing
K.J. Houtman 08.26.13
His name was John Pinner and he called several months before the scheduled fishing tournament. It was a Saginaw Bay team-format walleye event and he and his partner were paid in full. Something came up, he said, and he needed a favor.
Great, I thought, another angler that wants to wriggle out of the no cancellations, no refunds policy. What he asked for, however, came at me from left field and I was dumbstruck on the other end of the phone. It wasn’t at all what I expected.
“You see, I’ve been sick for awhile now,” John explained. “And while I hope that I’ll be fine come tournament time, if I’m not…”
It was quiet for a little while on the phone. “If I don’t make it to July or if I’m just too sick to fish it,” John continued, “would you take my name off the roster so it doesn’t appear as a zero at the bottom? I think that would be hard for my family to see.”
I swallowed hard.
Feeling horrible for thinking about the refund of the entry fee, I replied softly “Yes, of course, John. I can make sure that happens…if it needs to be.”
It was quiet for a little while.
“I want to fish this tournament so badly,” John broke the silence. “I just don’t know if I’ll be able to. This cancer’s tough.”
More silence. I had to gather myself before I could reply. “You hang in there and fight the battle, John. Let’s hope you’re strong enough come July, okay?”
“Yes. Let’s hope,” he answered.
“Do you mind if I stay in touch with you in the weeks and months ahead?”
“No, that would be fine,” John answered.
For the next couple of months I talked with John a few times, to see how he was feeling. The radiation and blood transfusions took all the wind out of his sails. He was getting weaker and eventually the bad days outnumbered the good.
It was time to get comfortable and be with the people you love the most doing the things that give you the most joy. For John it was fishing for walleyes.
In one of our regular phone calls, just a week before the tournament, John asked for another favor.
“If I can,” I answered, unsure of what he was going to ask.
“I’ll be traveling with my IV morphine pack,” John mentioned. “That’s okay, isn’t it?”
“Yes, John, that’s fine.”
“And one more thing,” he added. “The docks at Hoyle’s are so high up from the water, I won’t be able to get in and out very easily. I don’t want guys to see how weak I am.”
I had to gather my own composure just to answer. “Boat inspection starts at 5:00. How about we meet there at 4:30?”
“That’ll be good. Thank you,” John replied.
I didn’t see John at the rules meeting. His partner attended as only one team member’s attendance fulfilled the requirement. The next morning we met in the quiet of oh-dark-thirty and I confirmed the safety equipment was on board and the livewells were empty. It took all of two minutes at the most.
“How are you feeling today?” I asked when we were done with the details.
He patted the black iced bag that held his morphine drips. “This helps, couldn’t do it without it.”
“Good luck today. I’ll see you on stage with some fish later this afternoon, okay?” I asked.
“I sure hope so. I have been looking forward to this day for a long time. Just hope we don’t zero.” We talked for a little while longer about the bite and about the weather. We prayed together because it seemed like the right thing to do. His friend and fishing partner held it together, for John’s sake. It wasn’t easy. We all wanted him to have a good day on the water and bring in a nice basket of fish. “But don’t say anything on stage,” he asked me. “Just don’t go there.”
Tall order.
I weighed more than 50 baskets before I saw this team in the queue. Instantly I was sent on an emotional roller coaster. I was thrilled that they were in line for the bump tank—that meant there were fish to weigh, I hoped it wasn’t one little dink. They wanted to be treated like any other, with no sappy, crying tournament director with a microphone.
I weighed their basket. The dozen or so family members clapped and cheered. Other people wondered why there was such big applause for just a mediocre basket of fish. We had them hold up the walleyes and took pictures. Anyone could see they weren’t the right ones.
Oh yes they were.
John died four weeks later.
I’ll never forget what it meant to John to fish that tournament as part of his bucket list. In fact, it is probably a good idea for all of us to prepare our bucket lists and do the things that give us joy, while we can, with the friends and family that make us happy.
Even as each of us are just doing our jobs, we never know when what we do in our work day helps someone else fulfill their dream. Over many years of tournament squabbles, there were times that I wondered what good came from being a tournament director. But that day? That day I knew doing my little job well and running a tournament circuit gave John a chance to compete on a stage for walleyes. And that was a very important job to be done.
Note: John’s faithful hunting and fishing companion, his wife Julia of 18 years, created a memorial page for John after he died. When I talked to her about this article coming out she was so happy that people had not forgotten John and his love for fishing and hunting.
K.J. Houtman is the author of the award-winning Fish On Kids Books series, chapter books for eight- to 12-year-olds with adventures based around fishing, camping, and hunting. Her work is available at Amazon and local bookstores. Find out more at fishonkidsbooks.com.
Houtman writes books embracing the great outdoors for children and adults. Available as paperbacks and e-books at Amazon, they are: A Whirlwind Opener (#1), Driving Me Crazy (#2), Spare the Rod (#3), Duck, Duck Deuce (#4), Born to be Wild (#5) and A Second Chance (#6) as well as K.J.'s Reflections Under the Big Pine with Bill Miller, a non-fiction devotional for adults.
“I thoroughly enjoyed the Fish On Kids Books series – Houtman has a wonderful talent. I'm engaged in the life of Gus and when one book ends, I want to find out what he is up to in the next.” Sharon Rushton, Outdoor Writer and author of No Paved Road to Freedom
“From cover to cover the best series of chapter books I've seen in years. These books are wholesome with a focus on adventure. Wish I had them when I was a kid. I'm still a kid at heart and prolific reader. These are my kind of books.” Larry Rea, host, Outdoors with Larry Rea, Memphis, TN
“I’ve read them all and think these books are great.” Jim Zumbo, professional hunter and outdoor writer
