11 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Do with a Turkey Vest
K.J. Houtman 09.05.14
I wanted to get a new detachable-seat turkey vest, but they were expensive—about a hundred bucks. My spouse was shopping with me at the big box, outdoor-specialty store when I grabbed it off the peg. I knew I had a sales job for the early spring purchase.
“It will work great,” I said. “The seat pops down for a quick and easy spot to sit in the woods, and look at all the pockets in here to carry everything.”
“I can think of a dozen uses for this; I think I’ll get it,” I replied to his skepticism. Little did he know the turkey vest would work so hard throughout the entire year—for both of us. Here’s a list of just a few things I’ve been able to do with my shiny new piece of gear. Maybe you should give them a try, too.
1. Pretty petunias and beautiful begonias, I planted annuals along the brick sidewalk by kneeling on the detachable seat.
2. Hubby pulled out some rotten boards on our wood deck and I offered to help. Next thing you know, the turkey seat pad was under my knees as I helped power-drill deck screws.
3. Just as we pulled into the campground for the family reunion, voila, my turkey vest appeared. “Here,” I said, as I offered Mister the seat. No more gravel-indented or grass-stained knees when getting the jacks in place and the motor home leveled.
4. Mister wanted to ramp up his training for deer season and get in some serious workouts; or so he said that was the reason he needed to join a health club. “Just use your turkey vest,” I suggested, and I handed him 50 pounds of weight in the turkey vest to help him out. “There’s a water bottle in this pocket and a couple of power bars in these others,” I told him. “You’re all set.”
5. I love a clean house with floors scrubbed the old-fashioned way. Taking turns every other week, Mister and I gave our knees a little comfort and now have perfect, sparkling floors.
6. We have a cute little grandbaby who lives out of state, and when we wanted to take a hike in the woods to check on the trail cams during the last visit, Punky Punkin rode in the back pouch of the turkey vest. When it was bath time for the little tyke at night, my knees were just fine next to the bathtub, and I got all the baby shampoo out, too.
7. High-school football season came in the fall and it used to be sitting on those cold bleachers was a real drag. Not anymore, and all the pockets in the vest held tasty treats and beverages from the concession stand. Go Hawks!
8. Winter arrived and I auger-cut a few holes in the ice and rigged up my jig. With the flasher in front of the hole, kneeling was warm and dry with my turkey-vest cushion. I got a few nice crappies through the ice in comfort.
9. When our son deployed to Afghanistan, I would often wake up in the middle of the night worried for the troops. My solution was prayer, and the turkey vest seat along the side of the bed was mighty handy as I asked for protection and safety for all who serve our country.
10. Mister couldn’t figure out why the heck I packed the turkey vest in the suitcase for our spring break getaway vacation to Florida. When I had a padded seat above the hot sand, and a pillow for my head when stretched out on a towel, Mister bought me a bucket of cold ones with a lime and said, “You’re a pretty smart gal, I’ll give you that!”
11. Of course, once turkey season rolled around the following spring, I really enjoyed my vest.
K.J. Houtman is the author of the award-winning Fish On Kids Books series, chapter books for eight- to 12-year-olds with adventures based around fishing, camping, and hunting. Her work is available at Amazon and local bookstores. Find out more at fishonkidsbooks.com.