Where would the gun industry be without accessories? From scopes to lasers, to grips, to bipods and bayonets and iPhone holders, it seems that you can mount just about anything short of the proverbial kitchen sink. The amount of accessories you can slap onto any given firearm is only limited by rail space, weight, and the size of your bank roll—and occasionally common sense. That said, there are perhaps some items that may earn you a few stares the next time you visit the range.

These are the five most ridiculous things you can actually buy for your Picatinny (or any other) rail. Keep in mind that many (if not all) of these are novelties and are meant to be used accordingly. However, that does not stop them from looking any more outlandish.

1. Bottle opener

We’re pretty sure that nobody advocates drinking while shooting, but someone actually took the time to design this bottle opener for Picatinny rails. Range soda anyone?

2. Chainsaw grip

Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? While much too unwieldy for anything other than very specific situations, the chainsaw grip has found popularity among some enthusiasts for its style and intimidation factor. It also looks pretty fun to operate.

3. Actual chainsaw

So you saw the chainsaw grip attachment and wondered why not add the real thing a la Gears of War. Well the Zombie X Chainsaw has got you covered. Just don’t be too surprised if you get any disapproving looks at the range, or get asked nicely to stop sawing through the pile of wooden pallets you brought from home.

4. Cup holders/battle mugs

We’re not sure who thought it was a good idea to attach a cup holder to a rifle, but it sounds like a pretty good way to get coffee all over your ejection port. On the opposite side of the spectrum, the Battle Mug comes with its own rail system so the operator can mount whatever they want to it. Yes, that includes a “bayonet for close quarters, high risk operations.”

5. Tactical Axes

Ever wish that modern warfare or home defense came with more close range, hand-to-axe combat? Yeah, probably not. Yet this didn’t stop the dreamers over at Melee Mods from designing the Tact-Axe and Gatchet. Sure, you can get a flimsy old bayonet, but this isn’t the 1910s anymore. The future of trench warfare is rail mounted axes wielded by cyborg Vikings.

Image screenshot of video by ETC News on YouTube

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  • tom.55350

    A cold beer tastes good and fits well with the friendly get-together at the club house after the range time is over, so a bottle opener might be a good Idea.
    I’ve recently been seeing bacon cooked on an AR15 barrel… An AR-bacon cooker would be handy for making snacks to go with the brewskies.

    • Evilpopcorn

      The Galil’s bayonet lug was actually designed to pull double duty as a bottle opener.

      • tom.55350

        The did this because soldiers were using the magazines as a bottle opener and bending them. Adding a bottle opener solved that issue…
        …Love the Galil, I will own one with the wooden forearm someday.

  • Eugene Goodrich

    That hostage target looks weird. It looks to me like he puts 8 rounds in the hostage’s face and then decides it’s time for a frosty beverage. Or is the full-profile center target the bad guy, and the shadows on either side are the ones to avoid shooting?

  • Secundius

    The worst thing is, that there actually people out there DUMB enough too buy them. Those are the NUT’s I fear the most…

    • M40

      I don’t fear the nuts (they are usually more of a danger to themselves than anyone else). What I DO fear is that liberal politicians will use those nuts as examples of what an “average gun owner” is like. The libs LOVE to portray gun owners in a bad light, and there’s always a few idiots out there to help them paint that picture.

      • Dufus McGhee

        While I don’t fear the nuts and idiots, exactly, I am quite leery of them. I have helped out behind the counter at a couple of gun stores: one in Alabama and one here in the Los(t) Angeles area. In that capacity I have encountered people who caused me to think, “If my right to possess a gun means that THEY ALSO have that right, maybe its time to re-think things.”

        From time to time I also rent a table at a local gun show. (I deal in “experienced and collectible blades.”) That, my friends, is a two-day excursion into exactly how many different kinds of people have an interest in firearms and edged weapons. Occasionally I encounter someone who sends cold chills down my spine.

    • lhecker51

      Many that buy these do it as a joke or as a joke gift for their favorite gun enthusiasts. Lighten up guys.

    • pepelapiu2004 .

      What? You mean to tell me you don’t have a bottle opener and a chainsaw on your AR? And you want to make fun of me?

      When the zombies get here and you start sweating your ass off because you have to cut your wood by hand, don’t come crying to me. I am enjoying my nice cool bottle of soda. So shoo!

      • Secundius

        Don’t Own One! “AR’s” and “AK’s” are “Shoot and Spray” Rifles! I Prefer WWI and WWII “Battle Rifles”…

  • Kyle Guthrie

    You guys say that….but….but…..Zombies!!!

  • The Person.

    I’d like to see a halberd bayonet for World War-era battle rifles

    • Secundius

      Why not a Microtech “Jagdkommando” Bayonet with 12-inch long Spiral Tri-Blade. Virtually Impossible to Repair the Wound, most likely “Scenario Bleeding to Death”…